not really writer's block.

I've stumbled through writers block before. Sometimes months at a time. But now that I've surpassed my 60,000 word goal, I'm finding not so much that I can't think of anything to write--I've actually finally got a TON of things to put on paper, and I can feel the plot pacing speeding up to a thrilling speed--but that I can't seem to get things down fast enough.

This is its own kind of problem. I know I have places to go now, things for my characters to do and say and discover, but I am so discouraged by all the many tiny steps it will take to get there. 60,000 words seemed like such a huge accomplishment, but not I realize I've done that much, and I'm still not finished. I feel a little deflated again.

Sitting down to write, getting through the backstory to get to the good stuff, is even more frustrating to write than it is to have to read. You know those few pages you skim because you know something good is coming? You can't really skim it when you're writing it. :p

This is just part of life, this feeling, but it is terrible to be discouraged, nonetheless.

I think that might be another reason to pour yourself into lots of things you love. I'm cutting together family videos, working on new sewing projects, taking photos (I'm doing pictures for two families tomorrow) and daydreaming about art projects. Little victories make this long haul part seem not so bad.

I love writing it, but I also kind of wish it was just done.

almost 49,000 words and ⌘ + Shift + 4

Every weekday during the kids' naptimes I work on my book. For almost all of last month I hated it. I had terrible writers block. I knew where I was going, but I was slogging through the pages so slowly. Sometimes I was lucky to get a couple hundred words down. The places I was going had fun, exciting scenes to write, but the pages I had to fill to get there were grueling to write, because they were the every day things that lead to the interesting things.

But you can't have a meaningful first kiss if there's no reason for you to love the boy, right?

So I had to write them. But man, I hated it.

This month has been more fun. I'm averaging about 1,000 words a day, give or take about a hundred. I think about my characters during the day, zone out driving thinking about how to get something to happen, and have to tune back in to my girlie asking questions about lizards or what have you from the back seat. It's been exciting. As you see above, I'm almost up to 49,000 words. Check it out:

Are you trying to read it? Don't. I'm pretty sure the gaussian blur will attack your retinas.

48,862! 60,000 is a full-fledged novel length (but my story has far longer to go before it's finished, I think). Still. Thats a ton of writing. A ton of naptimes. I don't think I've ever gotten this far, at least not since I wrote a slightly embarrassing "novel" start to finish at age 14. You can imagine the kind of things a 14 year old would write in a novel, I'm sure.

No, you can't read it! How terrible! There is enough bad writing out there without you reading something I wrote when I was 14. (Which is also what I tell myself on the days that I think I am a terrible, terrible writer. I just figure, I've seen some pretty terrible things in print, so even if I have no talent, that doesn't mean I shouldn't eventually get published. Persevere!)

About twice a month I want to screen capture something on my Mac, but I always forget how and have to google it. If you're wondering, it's ⌘ + Shift + 4.

{the dream} Writing the Book

I just emailed a stranger to ask him about an old landmark in San Francisco, which he visited as a boy in the 1930's, and told him I was doing some research because I am writing a novel.

I actually wrote that, to a stranger. So now its not just you who knows. Strangers know. Or at least one will, when he opens his email. If it didn't go into his spam folder.

Actually, if you like history and humor, you should take a look at his website. He is an 89 year old gentleman and writes about life in the 20's and 30's--and he's pretty funny. I'm really hoping he writes me back.

Its been kind of funny, the things I've looked up researching just random things for this book--its not going to be a great work of historical fiction or anything, but I find that I am writing things a little out of my scope of knowledge. And I want to be right if I can, because someone somewhere with a much broader scope of knowledge might pick it up, and I don't want them to toss it aside because I use a poor metaphor or give some bad information. Here are just a few of the things I've looked up, book related:

caves breathing (like this one in Australia)
English cucumber tea sandwich recipe (like this one)
How to type French accents on a Mac (keyboard shortcuts)
the top baby names of 1951 (here are the top 100, if you're wondering)
Betsy-Tacy books (they have their own society!)

So, can you guess what its about?

Actually, most of these are not at all related to the plot--they are the background stuff, but I feel like a lot of times that is what makes a book feel real. It has been pretty fun, actually, learning new things like this. Sort of at random. I haven't focused on learning a lot of non-parenting/marriage/household new things since I've been out of school & not formally working.

And now that I've looked through my google search history, I'm a little disturbed by how much of my life gets typed in to google. Hmm...