Friday, March 16, 2012

that awkward moment...

Have you guys seen those "That awkward moment when..." memes floating around the internet?

Or, okay, a little more relatable:

both from here.

Which yes, I do that all the time. (I'm pretty sure I choke on my own spit WAY MORE often than on, say, food.)

Or, you know, like...

That awkward moment when you get into a dressing room at a store after doing like five million other things and talking to a bunch of people and look in the mirror and realize your fly is down.

That awkward moment when you hit SEND before you actually finished your text message.

That awkward moment when you realize that your baby has pooped all over her clothes on an airplane and the only thing you have to dress her in is a crop-top sweater and some sweat-shorts.

NOT that any of these things have happened to me.

What about that awkward moment when your BFF gets her 4-year-wish granted, and you want to cry because it means she is moving away from you, probably forever?

I know, I know. That's really more sad than awkward, right? But it is still totally awkward. I just saw her, and she was so happy, and I just wanted to cry. I haven't yet. But I did eat a whole Ghiradelli brownie this morning. Well before lunchtime. Which is pretty much the same thing.

I don't want to bum you out, though, even though I am totally in need of some B&J, A&E P&P, & a good cry. (Sadness requires a lot of ampersands, FYI.) So I'm going to leave you with some more awkward moments (again, definitely NOT from my life, but if they were, MOST of them would be from a long time ago):

That awkward moment when you fall asleep at your friends' house during a movie and wake up realizing you've drooled on their pillow.

That awkward moment when you're walking backwards trying to talk to a guy you like, and you accidentally run into a trashcan and almost knock it over and everybody laughs.

That awkward moment when you're riding your bike and decide to spit your gum out and it gets caught in your hair.

That awkward moment when someone congratulates you on your marriage by saying "Enjoy it while it lasts."

That awkward moment when you mutter "You suck" at someone under your breath and they turn around and say, "What?" (Okay I have to cop to this one just because I have to say that this happened in high school and I would never ever do that as a "grown up")

That awkward moment when you're talking to a boy you like and your backpack gets hooked on a ladder and you get jerked backward and everybody laughs.

That awkward moment when you fall in mud that looks like poop and have to call your mom to bring you new pants.

That awkward moment when you learn HTML encoding and build a website like a huge geek to impress a guy and then find out he doesn't know how to do either of those things. (But at least you ended up kind of loving it and getting a job post-college because of it.)

That awkward moment when you're meeting a bunch of people for the first time and your pants split and you have to low-ride your bag over your bum and stay seated for as long as much as possible so nobody can see your underwear.

That awkward moment when a bird poops on your head at lunch break and your friends have to help you wash your hair in the middle school bathroom., I didn't realize there were so many of these. If you're wondering how I still ended up realatively well adjusted and had steady boyfriends in high school and lots of friends and married a super cool guy I will tell you the secret:


Because birds poop on your head no matter who you are.

...I was kind of meaning to write about my BFF and how much I am going to miss her, but I feel like this post got waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off track somehow.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

thoughts & confessions

Does anybody else wander through their day thinking of status updates to write, and then never writing them?

I do this way too often. I think it is because I am a little bit narcissistic. Or no, not exactly narcissistic, but I like to talk about myself. Or I want everyone to validate that what I'm thinking IS AWESOME.

For example, status updates I could write right now, if I hadn't just written one like an hour ago (I don't do more than one in a day unless something crazy happens. I don't know, it is one of my internal rules. My moral compass. You shouldn't have to experience that much of my day... But in case you wanted to here are the things I could "update" you with.)

Is it weird that, after finishing Mindy Kaling's book (Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me) I feel like I know her and could just call her "Mindy"?

There is nothing as exciting as knowing a box of books is making its way toward your porch through the mail!

I've had a sore throat for a week and it won't go away. It isn't a bad one, but it is annoying.

Aren't you guys so glad I told you about that stuff?

And while we're at it, I have to unburden myself with some confessions.

  1. I think about dessert a lot. It is seriously a huge motivating factor when I am at the gym. I LOVE DESSERT. In fact, since I've been calorie counting, I plan my day so I can have dessert within that calorie limit. And I'm not talking about a Fiber One 90 calorie bar. Ghiradelli brownie or bust.
  2. For the life of me I cannot remember the difference between it's and its. No matter how many times I look it up.   If you are thinking No big deal, you are wrong. For one, I'm an English major with a life dream of writing a book. Its and it's matters in my world. And for another, I am almost rudely critical of all things grammatical. Your and you're. They're, there, their. Left out commas. The list goes on. So I guess this is the universe's way of putting me in my place.
    (If you were wondering, sentence fragments don't bother me, conversationally writing.)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

{motherhood} : survival mode

I had intended to do lots of things last month, not just try to abandon yelling. But life goes so slow sometimes, and so fast others. February was the month of everyone being sick. An ear infection, pink eye, colds, stomach flu and another (or continuation of the previous?) ear infection, all crammed in to three weeks, each of us effected by at least two of the listed items.

survival mode is okay.

Did you know that?

I have to remind myself of it periodically. That some days as long as everyone is fed and wearing a clean diaper/undies and we've tried our best to be nice, that is good enough to mark the day as a good one. Maybe dinner was Cheerios. Maybe we watched Sid the Science Kid before bed because Mommy couldn't bring herself to read another story. But when everything is falling apart at the seams, that is okay. When it comes to order and homekeeping, I tend to be a little more Lucy Ricardo than June Cleaver anyway. Or at least, I'd much rather be Lucy than June.

Though the hubs has yet to yell at me in Spanish.

Anyway sometimes when things suddenly feel really hard and I am just completely incapable of accomplishing one more thing, I look around and assess the situation. Last month the kids were sick. On occasion, I am hit with a month-long battle: my sunny disposition versus my ever-threatening issues with depression. Or maybe the hubs is doing a difficult rotation, and is just gone a lot. I look at these things, and that my kids are still laughing and eating crayons or what have you, and then I give my self permission to just survive for a few more days, and I put my head down and we get through it.

Survival mode is okay. And a good thing, too.